The thing about living so far away from your old home is that the longer you stay there, the further and further away you begin to feel from family and old friends. You start to feel somewhat isolated from your old life or what it used to be, from your own culture and all that once was and you enter into limbo wondering where you truly belong. Is it here or is it there? I still don't particularly feel like a completely integrated citizen in Chile, there is so much I still cannot get used to here in this crazy land but when I think of my old home I also feel so misplaced, so foreign, so distant from it all there. I haven't seen my family in over a year now and we don't write or talk as much as I'd like and I suppose that at times I feel abandoned by them - I'm sure they don't consciously want to make me feel that way but I suppose lives go on in the here and now and no matter how technologically advanced this world is becoming, there's nothing quite like being physically next to someone. I've already drifted far far away from people I used to know from back home and that's been a sad but also very revealing experience. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, it's just never going to be enough and you can't force the natural diverging of paths.
Yesterday I was feeling quite sad and stressed out - not a great combination - and Tom just gave me this look, like he understood what I was feeling, it was really quite bizarre, he searched my eyes for a while and smiled and reminded me that it's all going to be ok. That we have each other here. Living in a foreign country miles and miles away from a past you used to know and love is a difficult experience. Especially when you have settled and begun new chapters in your life.